The Private Chef Max
by ya-fic
Summary: What if Fran was the rich one with kids and Maxwell was the underdog looking for a job? What if Niles was the Broadway producer and C.C. was the maid? When a chandelier falls on Fran and Maxwell, the knock to the head has them dreaming of just that scenario. This story is script style and meant to mimic an episode of the show. Please share your feedback!
1. Teaser

**TEASER**

 _ **FADE IN:**_

 **EXT. SHEFFIELD MANSION - ESTABLISHING**

 _A car drives by._

 **INT. DINING ROOM - MORNING**

 _The family sits around, enjoying breakfast. The room looks  
dark and the lights flicker. Fran, dressed in a robe,  
sashays in and looks around, standing next to Maxwell._

 **FRAN  
** Good morning, everyone. Wow, this  
new lighting makes Studio 54 look  
like the Sears portrait studio.

 _Everyone squints as the lights flicker again._

 **MAXWELL  
** Mmmm, yes. I told Niles to install  
the new chandelier, but, clearly,  
he outsourced the job to a  
complete and total idiot.

 _ **CUT TO:**_

 **Int. Kitchen - Continuous**

 _C.C., the complete and total idiot, dressed in a white  
jumpsuit with a bandanna tied around her head, packs up a  
toolbox and chuckles to herself. A ladder leans against the  
counter next to her._

 _Niles comes down the back stairs._

 **NILES  
** Oh, look, the secret love child of  
Rosie the Riveter and Mr. Clean.

 **C.C.  
** _(ignoring)  
_ You may think you won, but when  
you see the shoddy job I did, I  
guarantee you'll be wishing I was  
the one who could fit those  
thirteen Oreos in my mouth.

 _Niles walks up to stand behind her and whisper:_

 **NILES  
** Oh, you know you shouldn't speak  
to me like that here. It's such a  
turn on. The thought of you...

 _C.C. arcs an eyebrow._

 **NILES (CONT'D)  
** Covered in cookies...

 _C.C. fans herself._

 **NILES (CONT'D)  
** And cream.

 _She whimpers slightly._

 **NILES (CONT'D)  
** Slowly choking to death.

 _She looks away a moment then rolls her eyes._

 **C.C.  
** One day, Niles, all these walls  
you build with your cutting jabs  
and cruel remarks are going to  
come crashing down, and you and I  
are going to-

 _A loud CRASH sounds from the other room. They look at one  
another with eyes wide and mouths open._

 **C.C. (CONT'D)  
** Be in so much trouble. Oh my God,  
Maxwell? Maxwell?!

 _She runs toward the dining room with Niles on her heels._  
 _When they get there, the kids stand around the table in_  
 _horror, trying to pull a fallen chandelier off Fran and_  
 _Maxwell. C.C. and Niles join them and succeed._

 **GRACE  
** Daddy? Fran? Are you okay?

 _They both moan and move slightly, not totally waking up.  
Brighton and Maggie move to their sides. Maggie lifts up  
Fran while Brighton takes Maxwell._

 _Cartoon birds, drawn in the style of the opening credits,  
fly around their heads._

 _ **ZOOM IN:**_ _on the birds._

 _The opening credits start, but the birds are still around.  
They fly all over the screen and with a few flashes  
everything changes._

 _The "bridal shoppe" becomes a "pastry shoppe" and so on  
from the new lyrics:_

 **THEME SONG  
** He was working at a pastry shop in  
Bethnal Green...  
'Til his girlfriend kicked him out  
in such a crushing scene.  
What was he to do? Where was he to  
go? He was out like a big schnook.  
So, over the pond, from England to  
Fran Fine's front door.  
He was there to sell vacuums, but  
Fran, she saw more.  
He had taste, he had brie, he was free.  
That's how he became the house cook.  
How he would fit, that was  
anyone's guess  
When he took on the role of  
personal chef.  
Now Fran she finds him heating;  
Watch out Niles.  
And the kids are actually eating;  
Such food styles.  
He's the fella in whites when  
everybody else is stuck in blacks.  
The subtle guy from England, the  
private chef Max.

 _ **FADE TO BLACK.**_

 **END TEASER**


	2. Act I

**ACT I**

 _ **FADE IN:**_

 **EXT. FINE MANSION - ESTABLISHING - DAY**

 _Looks the same as always, but..._

 **INT. DINING ROOM - DAY**

 _Fran sits at the head of the table reading the funnies._  
 _She's fully dressed and looks normal if not a bit more_  
 _polished._

 _The kids, looking a lot more Queens than usual, sit around_  
 _the table. In C.C.'s usual spot sits Niles who is dressed_  
 _in a well-tailored black suit._

 **FRAN  
** Niles, don't you think it's about  
time someone made Family Circus  
into a musical?

 **NILES  
** Sounds as insane as all your other  
ideas... so it should work great.

 **MAGGIE  
** Like that time you found out about  
the show Andrew Lloyd Weber passed  
on a decade before and insisted on  
producing it.

 **GRACE  
** Who would have thought a show  
about a bunch of kitty cats would  
do so well.

 **FRAN  
** Your. Mother. That's who.

 **NILES  
** The future creative genius behind  
"Family Circus: the Musical." I'll  
put the feelers out for some  
backers today.

 **FRAN  
** Perfect. You know, I can't imagine  
a better pair of producers than  
us. You, the retired Broadway  
superstar and playwright, and me,  
the tragically-single, Powerball  
winner with money to burn.

 **NILES  
** Yes, how fortunate we came into  
each other's lives when you bought  
this house from me two years ago.

 **GRACE  
** I can't believe we didn't change  
anything. I mean, look at this  
place. Oy, it's so stuffy.

 **NILES  
** I can't believe you kept the maid.  
Honestly, the whole reason I was  
selling the place was to get rid  
of her.

 _C.C., dressed in a maid uniform, enters with boxes of_  
 _takeout. She walks slowly around the table as the scene_  
 _plays out, tossing a box in front of each of them._

 **BRIGHTON  
** Anyone else find it odd how much  
we speak in exposition around  
here?

 **MAGGIE  
** Yeah, I mean, I may as well say  
"isn't it so cool that Fran is our  
mother?" and "doesn't it suck that  
our father, Danny, divorced her to  
be with Heather Biblo right before  
we won the lottery and got rich?"

 **GRACE  
** You could just say we're in an  
alternate reality where Fran's the  
successful producer, Daddy's the  
down-and-out schlub, Niles is rich  
and famous-

 _They all laugh at that. He scowls._

 **GRACE (CONT'D)  
** And C.C.'s the maid.

 _They laugh even louder. C.C. shrugs it off._

 **C.C.  
** It's conversations like this that  
drove another personal chef into  
submitting his resignation.

 **FRAN  
** He didn't quit. I fired him. I do  
that sometimes.

 _She gives C.C. a menacing look. C.C., now standing between_  
 _Niles and Fran, places the last box of food in front of_  
 _Fran, gently and with a smile._

 **FRAN (CONT'D)  
** Ya could just cook for us  
yourself, ya know.

 **NILES  
** Oh, Fran, please. I'm not ready to  
die. I'm too young.

 **C.C.  
** And that, that right there? That's  
why you have a Tony. Those acting  
chops. Oh, wait...  
 _(leans in to look at_  
 _him)  
_ Those are jowls.  
 _(she laughs)  
_ "Too young," give me a break.

 _She chuckles again and starts for the kitchen._

 **NILES  
** You've been on one since I've  
known you!

 **C.C.  
** See you in five...

 _C.C. taps her watch then exits._

 **NILES  
** Are you really considering firing  
that vile woman? Finally?

 **FRAN  
** Aw, Niles, you know I would never  
do that to you.

 _She gives him a little wink. He picks up a fork and starts  
to eat, smiling to himself._

 _The doorbell rings. Everyone looks around._

 **BRIGHTON  
** I'm guessing it's going to be the  
schlub Gracie was talking about.

 **EVERYONE**  
Oh...

 **FRAN  
** Well, let's go check him out.

 _ **CUT TO:**_

 **INT. LIVING ROOM - A LITTLE WHILE LATER  
**  
 _A cute butt bent over. We zoom out to find the butt_  
 _attached to Maxwell, dressed in khakis and a baggy polo_  
 _shirt-much less classy than normal. He plugs in a hose and_  
 _then stands back up, holding the nozzle._

 _Fran and the kids sit on the couch, Niles stands behind the  
couch._

 **FRAN  
** Uh huh, uh huh. I see. And could  
you show me one more time how you  
detach the hose.

 **MAXWELL  
** Of course, ma'am. I'll be glad to  
demonstrate... a seventh time.

 _He turns back around, bending over. Fran tilts her head to_  
 _follow the bend. She smiles._

 **BRIGHTON  
** _(quietly to Fran)  
_ Is this really necessary?

 _C.C. enters and takes a place next to Niles._

 **FRAN  
** What? I'm gonna buy the vacuum...  
and all the accessories. I need to  
know exactly how it... works.

 _Fran bites her lip._

 **C.C.  
** You don't even know how to work  
the vacuum we have now.

 **FRAN  
** Oooh, maybe we can get him to show  
us that next.

 **NILES  
** You do know the salesman isn't  
included in the package?

 **FRAN  
** He said "everything you see before  
you just $149.99."

 _Maxwell pops back up with both ends of the hose in his  
hands._

 **FRAN (CONT'D)  
** Oh, very good. Very good.

 _She claps._

 **C.C.  
** It's not a magic trick. I do that  
every day.

 _Niles looks at her out of the corner of his eye._

 **C.C. (CONT'D)  
** Okay, every week.

 _He turns his head to her._

 **C.C. (CONT'D)  
** Okay, every month.  
He arches an eyebrow.

 **C.C. (CONT'D)  
** Okay, I don't know how to work the  
vacuum we have now either.

 _Niles nods, satisfied._

 **MAXWELL  
** So, what do you say, ma'am?

 _He walks toward her. The others go over to check out the  
vacuum as Fran stands to talk to Maxwell._

 **FRAN  
** Well, first, I say, you should  
stop calling me ma'am.

 **MAXWELL  
** Of course, Miss...

 **FRAN  
** Fine. Fran Fine. Pleasure.

 _She puts her hand out to shake._

 **MAXWELL  
** I'm Max Sheffield and I can assure  
you, Miss Fine, if you decide to  
purchase this vacuum, then the  
pleasure's all...

 _He takes her hand to shake, but the contact makes him lose  
his words. He stares at her. She stares back._

 **MAXWELL (CONT'D)  
** Mine. The pleasure's mine.

 _He releases her hand._

 **FRAN  
** _(to herself as she fans_  
 _herself with her hand)  
_ Hundred percent disagreeing with  
that.  
 _(to Maxwell)  
_ We'll take two.

 **MAXWELL  
** Oh, well, I only have the one with  
me.

 **FRAN  
** Oh, really? I had no idea you  
could only schlep one of these  
babies from door to door to door.

 _He tilts his head._

 **MAXWELL  
** I'll have to come back later with  
the second one.

 **FRAN  
** In that case, Mr. Sheffield, it  
sounds like I'll be seeing ya  
later.

 _He smiles, enamored with her._

 **MAXWELL  
** Yes, Miss Fine... you most  
certainly will.

 _He gives her a shy smile then walks back toward the vacuum.  
Grace and Maggie come over as Maxwell shows off some more  
vacuum features to the others._

 **FRAN  
** Wow, is he adorable or what?

 _Grace and Maggie trade an uncertain look._

 **MAGGIE  
** I don't know. He looks like a-

 **GRACE  
** Daddy.

 _They look at her, confused._

 **GRACE (CONT'D)  
** Alternate universe Daddy?

 _They glance at each other then back at Maxwell._

 **FRAN  
** I don't see it.

 **MAGGIE  
** I was going to say he looks like a  
shlemiel.

 _Maxwell drops several of the parts all over the floor._

 **FRAN  
** Now, that, I see.

 _He bends over to pick everything up, again exposing his  
backside once again._

 **FRAN (CONT'D)  
** But who's complaining?

 _Everyone within earshot shakes their disapproving head._

 _ **FADE TO BLACK.**_

 **END OF ACT**


	3. Act II

**ACT II**

 **INT. KITCHEN - DAY - LATER**

 _Maxwell backs into the kitchen from the back door. He hauls_  
 _a vacuum and a duffel bag. C.C. watches a moment._

 **C.C.  
** _(shouting)  
_ Miss Fine! Your sucker is here!

 _Maxwell turns back to face her._

 **MAXWELL  
** Pardon me?

 **C.C.  
** Oh, sorry, I can't. You've already  
been sentenced.

 **MAXWELL  
** Meaning?

 **C.C.  
** Miss Fine has designs on you.

 **MAXWELL  
** As a sales man?

 **C.C.  
** Well, you're half right.

 _Maxwell raises his eyebrows._

 **MAXWELL  
** So you're telling me a rich,  
beautiful woman is interested in  
me? I'll take ten to life.

 _He laughs to himself._

 **C.C.  
** Oh, she's interested. Until she's  
not. Then you'll be kicked to the  
curb quicker than you can say  
conjugal visit.

 _Maxwell frowns._

 **C.C. (CONT'D)  
** Miss Fine! Yoo-Hooooo-ver.

 _Another knock at the backdoor sounds._

 **C.C. (CONT'D)  
** Oh, that'll be the new chef.

 **MAXWELL**  
Chef? You need a new chef?

 **C.C.  
** No. Because we have one.

 _She moves toward the door. Maxwell stands in her way._

 **MAXWELL  
** Hang on. I'm a chef.

 **C.C.  
** Of course, you are.  
 _(beat)  
_ You need to leave.

 **MAXWELL  
** But why?

 **C.C.  
** She hires you. She sleeps with  
you. She fires you. Let's just cut  
out the middle man-that would be  
you-And we'll just go straight to  
the other guy outside.

 _She side steps him and opens the door to a rotund and  
smiling man in chef whites._

 **MAXWELL  
** We'll need you to cook everything  
in the microwave.

 _The chef scowls and does an about face. C.C. turns back to  
him, frowning._

 **MAXWELL (CONT'D)  
** Just give me a shot. Let me cook  
something for you.

 _Fran walks in._

 **FRAN  
** A detachable hose and he cooks?

 _Maxwell walks over to her._

 **MAXWELL  
** But mostly, he cooks.

 **FRAN  
** I'm confused. I thought you were  
the hunky vacuum sales guy.

 **MAXWELL  
** Well, you're half right. Er, a  
third right? One out of four words  
so more like...

 **FRAN  
** Twenty-five percent.

 **MAXWELL  
** Beautiful and she does math?

 **FRAN  
** But mostly, she's beautiful.

 _She gives him a flirtatious Fran giggle. C.C. scoffs._

 **MAXWELL  
** Look, the point is, I cook. I'm a  
cook. A chef. I'm just selling  
vacuums to make ends meet while I  
look for a job here in New York.  
See, I was working for my  
girlfriend in a Bethnal Green  
bakery, but she dumped me for  
another pastry chef and-

 **FRAN  
** Well there's that down-and-out  
part Gracie mentioned. I wonder if  
we can get her reading tea leaves.

 **MAXWELL  
** Please, Miss Fine. Just let me  
cook something for you.

 **FRAN  
** Sure. I could use a little nosh.

 **MAXWELL  
** Oh, thank you. Thank you. You  
won't regret it.

 _He goes to the fridge._

 **C.C.  
** No, but you might.

 _Maxwell opens the fridge, but it's empty._

 **MAXWELL  
** Why, it's empty.

 _He goes to the cupboards and opens them. Niles enters._

 **MAXWELL (CONT'D)  
** And the cupboards are bare.

 **FRAN  
** Yeah, well, the personal chef is  
also the personal shopper.

 **MAXWELL  
** And what exactly does she do?

 _He thumbs toward C.C._

 **NILES  
** Oh, we've been trying to figure  
that out for years. Now, what's  
going on here? And who turned the  
vaccum cleaner guy into old Mother  
Hubbard?

 **FRAN  
** Oh, Niles, listen to this. It  
turns out Mr. Sheffield here is a  
personal chef.

 **NILES  
** Uh oh.

 **FRAN  
** He's going to cook a little  
something for us.

 **C.C.  
** A very little something  
considering the contents of the  
cabinets... and the size of this  
guy's hands.

 _Maxwell looks at her condescendingly._

 **MAXWELL  
** We can't all have large, strong  
man-hands like you..

 **NILES  
** Oh, yes, he'll fit right in.

 **MAXWELL  
** Okay, plan B. If you don't have  
ingredients. Let's go with  
flavors, okay?

 _He goes over to his bag and starts digging out a lunch bag._  
 _He pulls out a few items and moves over to the table. He_  
 _waves her over._

 _Fran looks at him curiously, but takes a seat. He sits next_  
 _to her and lays out a few item: a sliced green apple, a jar_  
 _of honey, some brie wrapped in wax paper._

 _Niles and C.C. watch from across the room._

 **MAXWELL (CONT'D)  
** The secret to the culinary arts is  
flavor. A little bit of bitter, a little  
bit of sweet... and just a tad of  
funk.

 _He cuts off a chunk of the brie._

 **NILES  
** _(to C.C.)  
_ Is he talking about you?

 **C.C.  
** Aw, you think I'm sweet?

 _Niles glances at her, but says nothing._

 _Maxwell holds up a slice of apple with the brie. He  
drizzles it with honey._

 **MAXWELL  
** Uh, may I?

 _He holds it up toward Fran's mouth._

 **FRAN  
** Yes, you may.

 _She giggles again a he moves the treat toward her mouth.  
She takes the bite sensuously. He stares at her a moment,  
but then blinks and takes a deep breath._

 **MAXWELL  
** What do you-

 **FRAN  
** Oh, honey, you are hired.

 **NILES  
** He's not going to hand feed you  
every meal, you know.

 **FRAN  
** You haven't seen the contract.

 _Maxwell arches a nervous eyebrow._

 _ **FADE TO:**_

 **INT. DINING ROOM - MORNING**

 _The gang is gathered around the table, eating a luxurious  
breakfast._

 **FRAN  
** Ya see, kids. This guy's a keeper.

 **Grace  
** _(simultaneous)_  
Until you fall in love with him.

 **NILES  
** _(simultaneous)_  
Until you fall in bed with him.

 **Grace  
** What'd you say?

 **NILES  
** What'd you say?

 **FRAN  
** Look, both of you. I'm not falling  
in love with him...  
 _(eyeing Niles)  
_ Or the other thing.

 _Maxwell enters with another plate of food._

 **MAXWELL  
** Now, I've never made latkes so I  
hope you'll be forgiving.

 _He serves one to Fran first then makes his way around. She  
takes a bite and clearly loves it._

 **FRAN  
** What I said about the thing...  
 _(to Niles)  
_ And the other thing...  
 _(through another bite)  
_ I may have to reconsider.

 _She continues eating happily._

 **BRIGHTON  
** These are so good, I may have to  
reconsider.

 **MAXWELL  
** Thank you Master Brighton.  
Reconsider what?

 **FRAN  
** Never mind. The point is, Mr.  
Sheffield, we want to keep you  
around for a very long time. And  
none of us are going to do  
anything to screw that up.

 **MAXWELL  
** I hope I won't either, Miss Fine.

 _Fran and Maxwell look at each other for a long beat._

 _ **FADE TO BLACK.**_

 **END OF ACT**


	4. Act III

**ACT III**

 **INT. SHEFFIELD DINING ROOM - THREE YEARS LATER**

 _The family sits around, looking pretty much the same._

 _ **SUPER:**_ _Three Years Later._

 _Maxwell enters to serve breakfast. C.C. joins him to serve  
juice._

 **MAXWELL  
** Well, Miss Fine, can you believe  
it's been three years since I  
first arrived with that ridiculous  
vacuum cleaner?

 **C.C.  
** Can you believe I still don't know  
how to use it?

 _She laughs to herself._

 **NILES  
** It's no surprise to any of us that  
you suck and the vacuum doesn't.

 **C.C.  
** Is that supposed to be dirty?

 **NILES  
** Is the floor?

 **BRIGHTON  
** Isn't it kind of weird how all  
this time has passed, but we all  
seem exactly the same?

 **FRAN  
** No, not really. I've been 29 for  
much longer than three years.

 **MAGGIE  
** Really, though, it feels more like  
yesterday that Max joined us.

 **GRACE  
** That's because it was.

 **MAXWELL  
** No, it couldn't have been  
yesterday. Because yesterday-

 **FRAN  
** Mr. Sheffield.

 **MAXWELL  
** Yesterday Miss Fine told me she  
loved me!

 _Everyone's jaws drop._

 **FRAN  
** Well, yeah, okay, I did. But today  
I took it back so... we're good.

 **MAXWELL  
** Oh, God, you're delusional!

 **GRACE  
** I'm telling you, we all are.

 _Everyone looks around._

 **MAXWELL  
** You know, I can't take this  
anymore, Miss Fine. I'm done.

 _He tosses down the plate of food and marches out of the  
room._

 **INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS**

 _Fran chases in after Maxwell._

 **FRAN  
** Hang on, Mr. Sheffield. Wait.  
Would ya wait? Please!

 _He turns back to her._

 **MAXWELL  
** Wait? I've been waiting. I've been  
avoiding. I've been worried about being  
honest because I've not wanted to  
lose a job that I love... with a  
family whom I love... and...

 **FRAN  
** And?

 _They take a few steps toward each other._

 **MAXWELL  
** Well, and you... whom...

 **FRAN  
** Yeah?

 _She makes her way to him._

 **MAXWELL  
** Whom I...

 **C.C.  
** Oh, just say it already!

 _They look to the back stairwell to find C.C., Niles and all  
the kids spying on them._

 **MAXWELL  
** But, C.C., it was you who told me  
if I were to ever... if we were  
ever to... I'd get fired.

 **C.C.  
** Oh, please. That was when I  
thought I might have had a shot  
with you myself. I think it's  
pretty damn clear that isn't ever  
going to happen.

 **NILES  
** Re-read the script, sweetie, I  
believe that was my line. From  
three years ago.

 **FRAN  
** Oh, could we get a little privacy,  
please? Kids? And you two? We have  
enough of our own sexual tension.  
We really don't need yours.

 _They all complain, but head back up the stairs._

 **FRAN (CONT'D)  
** Look, it's true that I said I  
loved you and took it back.

 **MAXWELL  
** Yes, I know. I was there.

 **FRAN  
** But that's because you didn't say  
it back.

 **MAXWELL  
** I didn't say it back because I  
didn't want to be just some other  
man that you...

 **FRAN  
** That I what?

 **MAXWELL  
** Slept with and sent packing.

 _He hangs his head. Fran stares at him a long moment._

 **FRAN  
** Is that really what you think of  
me? I mean, sure, I may have been  
a serial dater in the... years...  
following my divorce. But it  
hasn't been that way in quite some  
time. You know that, don't ya?

 _He looks back up at her._

 **MAXWELL  
** Why the change?

 _She shrugs._

 **FRAN  
** Well, you see, this man, he sold  
me a couple of vacuums, served me  
some killer latkes and stole my  
previously lonely heart.

 **MAXWELL  
** And does he still have it? Your  
lonely heart?

 _She nods._

 **FRAN  
** Yeah, but ya know, it's not so  
lonely since he's been around.

 _He takes a step toward her._

 **FRAN (CONT'D)  
** Which is very scary to a woman  
like me. After all, the last man  
who had my heart threw it out like  
spoiled milk.

 **MAXWELL  
** Oh, but you see, you don't throw  
out spoiled milk. You turn it into  
buttermilk for recipes that are  
richer and more complex than  
anything you can do with milk.

 **FRAN  
** Well, now, that sounds like me:  
Rich and complex.

 **MAXWELL  
** But, listen, Miss Fine. If you  
need time, I understand. Perhaps  
we could be friends instead.

 _Fran considers this._

 **FRAN  
** Nope. I'm good.

 _She grabs him and pulls him into a kiss. He kisses her back  
with reckless abandon. They part just slightly only to kiss  
again._

 **FRAN (CONT'D)  
** Oh, Mr. Sheffield-

 **MAXWELL  
** I think you can call me Max now.

 **FRAN  
** And you can call me-

 **MAXWELL  
** Fran...

 _They kiss again. And again. And again._

 _ **DISSOLVE TO:**_

 **BRIGHTON  
** Fran! Fran?! Are you okay?!

 **MAGGIE  
** Dad? Daddy!

 **C.C.  
** Maxwell?

 **MAXWELL  
** _(groggy)  
_ Just call me Max...

 **C.C.  
** Oh, well, okay-

 **MAXWELL  
** Fran.

 **C.C.  
** Oh boy.

 **FRAN  
** Oh, Max.

 **C.C.  
** Oh, God.

 _She rolls her eyes and heads for the door._

 **C.C. (CONT'D)  
** Clearly, they're fine.

 _Fran and Maxwell seem to come out of it._

 **FRAN  
** Oh, my head.

 **MAXWELL  
** I had the strangest dream.

 **MAGGIE  
** It wasn't a dream.

 _They all look at her._

 **MAGGIE (CONT'D)  
** It was a delusion.

 _Everyone looks around at each other, confused._

 _ **FADE TO BLACK.**_

 **END OF ACT**


	5. Tag

**TAG**

 **INT. DINING ROOM - DAY**

 _Everyone stands around as C.C. and Niles stand on the table  
working on the chandelier. We can only see the lower parts  
of their bodies._

 **MAXWELL  
** You know, you two are lucky I  
don't sue the hell out of the both  
of you. You could have killed us.

 _C.C. stoops down into the shot._

 **C.C.  
** What? Maxwell, don't be  
ridiculous. Niles doesn't have any  
money.

 _She laughs._

 **NILES  
** And, anyway, Ms. Babcock is the  
one who hung the chandelier.

 **FRAN  
** Barely.

 **MAXWELL  
** You put Ms. Babcock up to this,  
Niles. You're as negligent as her.

 **FRAN  
** Meanwhile, if you would just  
negligee her, maybe things like  
this would stop happening.

 _Maxwell looks at her out of the corner of his eye._

 **MAXWELL  
** Anyway, just get it fixed, you  
two.

 _He shakes his head and turns toward Fran._

 **MAXWELL (CONT'D)  
** I am so sorry about this.

 **FRAN  
** Oh, I'm not. It was a good dream.

 **MAXWELL  
** Delusion.

 **FRAN  
** You say tomahto.

 _She smiles at him._

 **FRAN (CONT'D)  
** You know, on account of your  
accent?

 **MAXWELL  
** Yes. Yes, I got it.

 _He smiles._

 **MAXWELL (CONT'D)  
** So... what was your... dream?

 **FRAN  
** You tell yours first.

 **MAXWELL  
** Well, you were rich and powerful,  
and you hired me as a, um...

 **FRAN  
** A chef?

 _Maxwell smiles mischievously._

 **MAXWELL  
** No, not exactly... though there  
was whipped cream and chocolate  
sauce involved.

 **FRAN  
** Oh. Mr. Sheffield!

 _She gives him a slap across the chest._

 **MAXWELL  
** Max...

 _She giggles as he scoops her into his arms and kisses her  
passionately._

 _ **FADE TO BLACK.**_

 **END OF EPISODE**

 _Thanks so much for reading! If you have any feedback, good or bad, please leave a review!_


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